


I Think I'm Touched

by Theoroark



Series: FemslashFest 2017 [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Death, Established Relationship, F/F, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theoroark/pseuds/Theoroark
Summary: Day Five:IsolationAngela visits her parents and Fareeha waits.





	I Think I'm Touched

She asked Fareeha to stay in the car. Fareeha had agreed and told her that she could take as long as she wanted in only the most agreeable, supportive tone, but Fareeha also could not keep a thing she was feeling off of her face, so Angela watched her run through surprise and hurt and worry and anxiety as she tried to muster up a smile.

 

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” she said, and Fareeha nodded in smiley agreement. “I just… need to be alone for this.”

 

That wasn’t true, of course, she thought as she walked up the hill. She had asked Fareeha here because she had wanted Fareeha to be a part of this. Fareeha had lost before. Angela had been to Ana’s funeral. It was the first time she had seen Fareeha in person since she had started basic training. She had taken her hand and Fareeha had leaned her head on her shoulder and they had said nothing, until Ana’s sister had come in and told them that the ceremony was starting. Fareeha had stood up and thanked her and had smiled politely as a long line of people walked past and poured their grief onto her.

 

She wanted Fareeha to know this part of her, too. For selfish reasons, even, because she imagined talking about it with Fareeha as this shining goalpost that meant she was an Emotionally Mature Adult who was capable of the kind of relationship Fareeha deserved.

 

But despite all that, she had left Fareeha in the car.

 

She crested the hill and spotted the little spruce tree, and then the headstones just to its left. She went to the tree first and took two white stones from the bucket nailed to its trunk. She put one on each of the headstones, and then sat down between them.

 

“Hey guys,” she whispered. She felt silly, talking to them. She did not believe that the presence of bones and some pinewood boxes brought her parents’ spirits any closer to her. That would be too monstrously cruel a fact of existence for the refugees she worked with for her to even consider it. But she had to give them something, if she was not giving them Fareeha.

 

“You’d like her,” she told them. “You’re going to like her. She’ll be here someday.”

 

She pulled up a blade of grass and split apart the fibers. “If I don’t drive her off first, I guess.” She laughed a little. “She’s smart. And… a lot of other things. So that might happen.”

 

“I’ll be okay, though. No matter what. I always get through these things.” She paused. “That came out like I was guilt tripping you. That’s not what I meant. I love you and I miss you. I do sometimes wish I had more to miss. But that’s not your fault.”

 

She had felt so strongly that it would be Fareeha, she thought. From the hillside, she could see cars on the freeway. She wondered what Fareeha was doing, locked in her car. She would be too nice to just drive away and leave her here. When she got back, Fareeha would ask her how it went, nod and smile at the non-answer she got. She would put the car into reverse and take Angela’s hand over the gear shift and squeeze it. She wouldn’t say anything else for the rest of the drive. She would play the dumb pop music that Angela loved.

 

Angela kind of wished she would just drive away right now and leave her here. Fareeha kept giving her things to miss and Angela could almost laugh at how afraid it made her.

 

“I’ll bring her next time,” she said. “I miss you.” She did not really feel she had much more to say, so she stood up and started back up the hill.

 

“How was it?” Fareeha asked, when she got back in the car.

 

“Good,” Angela said. Fareeha smiled and nodded. Angela knew she should be cynical about the whole thing, but she could not think of a time when Fareeha’s eyes would not make her feel just a little bit more human.

 

Fareeha put the car into reverse and Angela could see the rest of the ride laid out in front of them like a map. So before she lost the courage and fear she told Fareeha, “I want you to come up with me next time.”

 

Fareeha stopped the car and looked at her. “I don’t have to,” she said. “I only want to do what you want.”

 

“I want you to come with me,” Angela repeated. Fareeha took her hand over the gear shift and lifted it up and kissed it. Angela smiled and turned on the radio.

 

“They would have loved you,” she said over the cheesy pop. Fareeha opened her mouth to say something, then shut it and just nodded. She did not say anything for the rest of the drive, but Angela did not need any words to know when Fareeha’s spirit was close to hers.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @tacticalgrandma if you want to talk to me there.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and any comments/kudos will make me love you <3


End file.
